I'm new here on this site and I'm still getting the hang of writing down details about my financial efforts. Even seeing my "payables" on the sidebar is somewhat weird. But that is one of my financial goals - I can't wait for the time when I can put a "DONE/PAID" beside each payable. Eyes on the prize!

I had a stressful week last week so I didn't have time to check my e-mails for a few days. I was surprised at how many junk mails I have in the inbox - some were just plain spam while there are also some from the online magazines, discount websites and other subscriptions I signed up through the years.

So to simplify my life a little and to resist distractions and temptations in the process, I unsubscribed to all of them. I actually never realized how easy it was to do so. Why would I need a reminder that there is a new bestseller or there's a new cologne scent out in the market?

Ever since I can remember, I have always felt that I am my biggest critic. Like last night, my thoughts turned to doubts whether I will be able to put my financial life in order. You see, I've tried and failed so many times. I try hard to fight it of course, because I know that I, and not other people, should be the first to believe that I can achieve anything.

I will (try to) keep in mind these bible verses that really speaks to me:

"Whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours." Mark 11:24

"Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall." Psalm 55:22

I have been very, very fortunate that practically most of my adult life, I have been employed and never had the horror of being fired or laid-off. So all I know is that I will go to work in the morning, work all day, go home after, then repeat for 4 more days in the week. Take a well-deserved rest on weekend, go shopping once in a while, dread Sunday night, then repeat the cycle all over again.

I met an older friend a few days ago and she made a very interesting point. She said that during difficult times, we cannot depend on other people but only on ourselves. She told me the story of how she got blind-sided when she got laid-off at 45 years old from an insurance company that she worked for for so many years. It took her by surprise and she wasn't ready at all financially. So she makes it a point to remind her friends to not make the same mistake that she did.

It got me thinking. What if there's no more cheque this payday, can I survive then? How long will my almost-empty savings last me? How will I be able to pay my bills? And I spent sleepless nights after that scared and worried all of a sudden. Come to think of it, I needed that wake-up call.

I need to take control of my money especially where each penny goes...

I need to save for the future...

I need to start investing now...

I need to pay my debts...

Too much to do, so little time. I just hope it's never too late. Keeping my fingers crossed.